Our younger brother Michael came to visit on July 10, and Melissa and I were over the moon. Due to us living on opposite ends of the East Coast, we haven't seen much of each other in three years. He flew up on a Wednesday, and we went camping on Thursday until Sunday.
I knew it was going to be tough while camping not to fall prey to s'mores and hot dogs and alcohol and soda. I failed miserably. It was as if I was about to hibernate for Winter and I needed to consume all the food that I could. I had like 18 s'mores over the course of 4 days, and the worst part was when on Friday morning I woke up and ate a s'more without cooking it and with morning dew on it. I was hungry, there was no fire and I let the hunger and lack of survival skills get the best of me.
Over the next three days, I ate and drank to my hearts content. I did try and do some exercises, like taking a walk around the whole campground and swimming in the pool. I tried to not sit as much, and stand more, but I still ate like I would never see food again. I drank alcohol and soda. I basically had no water in my system the whole weekend. I'm surprised I don't have a kidney stone right now. Through it all, I vowed to start anew on Monday.
Monday rolled around, and I tried hard to get back on track, but I had soda and ate lunch out. I neglected water, and greeted sugar and caffeine like a friend I hadn't seen in years rather than a month. The pattern continued all the way through Saturday. My mind when it comes to food is ever rationalizing, and I viewed it as this was my vacation as much as it was his. Which is an excuse that only yields negative results. I stepped on the scale and gained back 4 pounds. So rather than being 14 pounds down, I'm back to 10 pounds. The weight loss was moving slow before this brief gorge on all the food, and now it's all but halted. As disappointed as I am in myself, I find myself more motivated to continue than anything.
It's a lot easier to restart today than I thought it would be. I was convinced that I would be miserable and hungry all day. That my body would reject the idea of life without sugar again. Instead, I find myself full and satisfied after eating. I find myself not just needing water, but wanting it instead. I'm not craving candy, but fruits and vegetables. I still have energy, and the general feeling of heaviness and unwell that creeped back up is starting to ebb a little. I look forward to when it's completely gone, and I'm back to feeling how I was about two weeks ago.
As I sit here with juice from the plum I was just eating all over me, I'm reminded of all the goals I have. Namely the 5k in just a few short months. But I also really want a manicure and pedicure, and to book my dream vacation. In order to do well and keep pace with my friend Gianna and my new friend Eva, I'll have to continue on a healthy lifestyle. If I want to ever see Iceland before I die, I have to lose the weight and become healthy.
I have one of the biggest support systems I've ever seen, and I'm grateful every day for you all. It's hard to be an overweight sister to a skinny brother, but I'm grateful that he doesn't judge me.And I understand that in life there will always be fumbles and people skinnier than I am. I also understand that those aren't excuses and I won't always do what is best for myself. I'll just have to cleanse myself of the negative decisions and repeat the positive ones, but at least I know I have people who will try and guide me back to the right path in a loving way. I hardly think about my future, and I prefer to live in the moment, but for the first time; I'm starting to view my future as a long one. Filled with my friends and family, but most importantly, my health. And I can't wait.
Here's me and my handsome brother, Michael:
.JPG)
Over the next three days, I ate and drank to my hearts content. I did try and do some exercises, like taking a walk around the whole campground and swimming in the pool. I tried to not sit as much, and stand more, but I still ate like I would never see food again. I drank alcohol and soda. I basically had no water in my system the whole weekend. I'm surprised I don't have a kidney stone right now. Through it all, I vowed to start anew on Monday.
Monday rolled around, and I tried hard to get back on track, but I had soda and ate lunch out. I neglected water, and greeted sugar and caffeine like a friend I hadn't seen in years rather than a month. The pattern continued all the way through Saturday. My mind when it comes to food is ever rationalizing, and I viewed it as this was my vacation as much as it was his. Which is an excuse that only yields negative results. I stepped on the scale and gained back 4 pounds. So rather than being 14 pounds down, I'm back to 10 pounds. The weight loss was moving slow before this brief gorge on all the food, and now it's all but halted. As disappointed as I am in myself, I find myself more motivated to continue than anything.
It's a lot easier to restart today than I thought it would be. I was convinced that I would be miserable and hungry all day. That my body would reject the idea of life without sugar again. Instead, I find myself full and satisfied after eating. I find myself not just needing water, but wanting it instead. I'm not craving candy, but fruits and vegetables. I still have energy, and the general feeling of heaviness and unwell that creeped back up is starting to ebb a little. I look forward to when it's completely gone, and I'm back to feeling how I was about two weeks ago.
As I sit here with juice from the plum I was just eating all over me, I'm reminded of all the goals I have. Namely the 5k in just a few short months. But I also really want a manicure and pedicure, and to book my dream vacation. In order to do well and keep pace with my friend Gianna and my new friend Eva, I'll have to continue on a healthy lifestyle. If I want to ever see Iceland before I die, I have to lose the weight and become healthy.
I have one of the biggest support systems I've ever seen, and I'm grateful every day for you all. It's hard to be an overweight sister to a skinny brother, but I'm grateful that he doesn't judge me.And I understand that in life there will always be fumbles and people skinnier than I am. I also understand that those aren't excuses and I won't always do what is best for myself. I'll just have to cleanse myself of the negative decisions and repeat the positive ones, but at least I know I have people who will try and guide me back to the right path in a loving way. I hardly think about my future, and I prefer to live in the moment, but for the first time; I'm starting to view my future as a long one. Filled with my friends and family, but most importantly, my health. And I can't wait.
Here's me and my handsome brother, Michael:
.JPG)
Sarah you can do it stay strong! If you ever need someone to talk to Im here for you ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you Danielle!! I love you<3
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