Sweet thaaaanggg.

I have the world's biggest sweet tooth. It's a fact, don't bother challenging me on this, because you won't win. I have very childlike taste buds. I am always craving candy, milkshakes and ice cream; and when I go long periods of time without them I turn into a fussy baby.

Which is why when I stopped drinking soda, eating candy and drinking milkshakes, I was miserable for the  first week. I had a headache that eventually went away. I felt weak, and weepy. At 3 am on the first night, I was so ravenous that I seriously debated on whether or not I could sneak out and get a milkshake from McDonald's. I talked myself off a ledge, and just chugged a bottle of water and cried myself to sleep.

The next two days were worse. I felt like I was an extra on The Walking Dead. I walked slow but still found a way to stumble into things. I felt like I was in a bad Stephen King novel (you know the one) because I was stuck in a fog and I couldn't get out. I was snapping at everyone, and taking offense to everything people said to me. I had let myself get so addicted to sugar that three days without it felt like I was lifeless.

After a couple of days my body readjusted. My headache diminished, and my zombie like gait disappeared. I allowed myself 2 teaspoons of sugar and 2 teaspoons of creamer in my coffee each morning, so I could slowly wean myself off of sugar.

When I go into a store, my first thought isn't which candy I will buy, and when I am at a friend's house, I no longer reach for soda. I make sure I carry my water bottle with me wherever I go. After 12 years of insomnia and only sleeping an hour or two at night, I am able to sleep five or more. My body no longer misses sugar.

It was Melissa's birthday yesterday, and last week we had gone out with a few coworkers for dinner and then to her house for dessert. There is where I reunited with my fickle friend. Cake. Icebox cake. The best of all cakes, and I said I would allow myself a piece because after all this was a lifestyle change and I am going to have to learn to live with temptation and not go overboard. I had a piece, and after that, I sat staring longingly at it. Amy offered me another piece, and I couldn't resist. I rationalized that I had been so low on my calorie count all week that I was fine and I could have that second piece. I regretted it, and I vowed to never rationalize like that again. Everyone else could live their lives with one piece, so could I.

That was until yesterday. Our coworker had brought in a cake for Melissa, and she said it was low calorie and low fat. I swore up and down to myself that I would only allow myself one piece. But then I tasted it and I knew I wanted another piece. So the way I rationalized it to myself was that I had the smallest piece out of everyone and it wouldn't kill me to have another small piece. So I did. And then I had another small piece. I didn't even realize what I was doing at the time.

Three pieces of cake. I felt disgusting, and like everyone was staring at the fatty who had three pieces. (When in reality, my other coworkers had three as well.) I swore to myself never again.

And yeah, I might have had two pieces of chocolate pudding whipped cream pie last night for Melissa's birthday. But I didn't go back for more when everyone was asleep, or this morning before I left for work. Which is a big deal for me, because I normally would have.

I feel like a fussy baby today because of all the sugar I had yesterday, and the decreased amount of sugar today. But I have to remind myself that if I wanted to, I could have eaten that whole pie myself and I didn't. I might trip and fall, and eat too much cake, but I'll always get back on track. I love my body now, but I'm going to love my body much more once I'm healthier.

I have consulted my doctor, and all the nurses at my office, and they have all agreed that I am doing this the right way. My doctor let me know about the possible side effects and different ways to combat them. I'm trying to be as healthy as possible, and understand my body much more than I did before. My level of well being is increasing as the weight is decreasing, and I can't wait to see where I go from here.